


With lots of love

by ChocoNut



Series: Many ways to say I love you [19]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Post Season 7, Post-Canon, fluff and confession, love letter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 20:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18350942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocoNut/pseuds/ChocoNut
Summary: Unable to summon the courage to tell Brienne the truth, Jaime writes her a letter which accidentally falls into her hands.





	With lots of love

“Ser Jaime, you dropped something,” Brienne called out after him, holding what seemed to be a letter.

Jaime, however, did not hear her. He hurried away to his chambers as usual, leaving her standing there, wondering what it was that he had left behind. Making a mental note to hand it over to him in the morning, she decided to retire for the night. As soon as she reached her chambers, she was about to put away the letter, but her eyes fell on something written on the top of the scroll in a childish scribble. Her heart skipped a beat when she read what it was.

_Dear Wench,_

There was absolutely no doubt that it was meant for her, as there was no one else he called by that name. She had every right to read it… but he had not given it to her yet.

_Should I read it? Or should I wait for him to give it to me?_

Eventually convincing herself that it was incorrect to read something that wasn’t yet meant for her, she put it away on her table and went about her routine. Once she had changed into her nightclothes, she was about to lie down, when her eyes fell on the letter again. Unable to sleep due to her curiosity getting the better of her, she couldn’t resist herself and opened it. She began pacing the room as she started reading.

_Dear Wench,_

_I know you’d think of me a coward when you read this, because believe me, I’ve been meaning to tell you all this since the day I arrived. I’ve faced countless men, fought countless battles, defeated some of the most formidable warriors I’ve ever met in a duel… but none of it has ever caused me as much apprehension as the prospect of telling you what I’m about to now._

Brienne stopped reading, her heart somewhere at her throat. Jaime Lannister had never been one to shy away from words. What in the name of the Seven could’ve caused him so much anxiety? Deep down, she had an idea what to expect, and hoping she was right, she read on.

_From the time we first met, all I did was mock and insult you, which to this day, I absolutely regret. I was an asshole then, my lady, but an asshole who fell under your spell, under your influence, only to end up losing his heart to you._

She re-read the line many times, hoping her eyes weren’t deceiving her, finally allowing herself a joyful smile as his words sank in.

_If I remember correctly, the first thing I said to you was that you looked much uglier in daylight, which even today, I am ashamed of. Let me take this opportunity, my dear wench, to tell you that you have the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen, as blue as the ocean and as clear as the sky, eyes that I’d die for and drown myself in forever._

She remembered their first conversation as vividly as it were yesterday. The appraising look he had given her the moment she had taken his hood off, his condescending tone when he had criticized her, and ofcourse, his demeaning comment itself, all of which had made her hate him instantly. But little did she know that she would one day…

_I didn’t know it was love when I saved you from those rapists, nor did I realize it when I jumped into that pit, unarmed. It wasn’t chivalry, I know now, but a move purely driven by my heart. I never knew even when I gave you my sword, though the moment you called it Oathkeeper has always held a special place in my life. I felt something tug at my heart when you turned to look at me as you rode away, but once again I failed to recognize it to be something as deep as love._

Brienne had known, for Cersei had called out her true feelings for Jaime, feelings she’d been making a tremendous effort to bury away in the depths of her heart… until today, until now…

_It was only much later that it dawned on me that it wasn’t my sword I was talking about when we met at Riverrun. My heart is yours, Lady Brienne, it will always be yours… Nothing has ever made me feel worse than your parting wave when you rowed away from me, the feeling that we’d end up fighting each other so heart-wrenching, that it almost killed me._

_But then again, I didn’t know I was in love with you._

_Forgive me for my behaviour when we met at the Dragonpit. I had to be curt with you that day to keep you safe. The moment I saw my sister glare at you, I was tormented by a mental image of the Mountain raping and butchering you to pieces, and the the only way to prevent my worst fears from turning into reality was to break your heart. Cersei couldn’t know about the strange bond, this weird connection between us. To keep you alive, I had to push you away… and end up heartbroken, myself. I can never forget the hurt in your beautiful eyes, for that is something which has been haunting me for days. It was with great regret that I walked away from you that day, hoping against hope that I’d see you again._

Brienne looked away for a second, her eyes moist. While she was hurt by his behaviour that day, she had never looked at it from his perspective.

_As we know, wench, the gods have been kind to me, giving me an immediate opportunity to side with the truth, to fight for the living, to be reunited with you - the love of my life._

_I love you, Brienne, I always did, and I always will._

_Forgive me, again, for not having the courage to tell you all this in person. As I sit down to write this on my first night here, I hope I muster the nerve to hand this to you before it’s too late, before something happens to either of us, before I regret never having told you how I--_

Had he been holding this letter to his chest since the night he arrived? Brienne did a quick mental calculation, he had arrived a month back, and since then--

_When you read this, if you don't feel the same for me, please don’t think ill of me--_

Tears welled up in her eyes. What made him think she didn’t love him? The fool…

_If you love me, you know where to find me. I’m waiting for you with open arms…_

_With lots of love,_

_Yours (if you’ll have me),_

_Jaime._

Brienne read it over and over again, atleast ten times to make sure she wasn’t mistaken. Then, without even bothering to change into formal clothes, she left her chambers, clutching the letter in her hand.

She had to speak to him. _Now_.

+++++

‘Ser Jaime,” she called, pounding on his door. “It’s me.”

“What is it, wench?” He sounded a little worried as he let her in, surprised to see her at this late an hour.

“I had to speak to you,” she blurted out, breathless.

“About what?” He waited, fixing her with a curious gaze.

“You called me, didn’t you?” she said softly. “You told me to come--”

Jaime looked puzzled. “I don’t understand, when did I--”

She held out the letter. “You said you were waiting--” she coloured, remembering the next words he had written “--with open arms.”

His expression went from shock to surprise, finally giving way to relief and happiness when he fully understood what she meant. “And?” he asked hopefully, taking a tentative step towards her.

“And I came,” she said, smiling. “Because you asked me to if I--” she blushed deeper, unable to go on.

He took her hand. “So you love me too, wench?”

Brienne nodded, trying to control her tears. “I do,” she confessed, her voice cracking. “I may not be able to write words as eloquent as yours, professing my love for you, but you can rest assured that I do feel the same for you. I always did, and I always will.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve been such a coward and an idiot,” he whispered, exhaling deeply. “I should’ve said this long ago, and in person, I love you, Brienne.”

“How did you manage to write so much with your left hand?” she wondered aloud.

“It took me all night, wench,” he admitted, gently stroking her hand. “But the look in your eyes makes it worth every second, every bit of the effort I had to put in to get the words out has paid off.”

“It's beautiful,” she said fondly, bringing the letter to her lips. “I’m going to treasure this all my life.”

“Just the letter? Are you going to kiss just that?” he asked with a look of mock indignation. “What about me--”

Before he could say another word, her arms were around his neck and her mouth on his and she kissed him tenderly. His lips were the best thing that had ever touched her, filling her with warmth and hope for a bright future, something that she’d never felt could be hers...

Until today... until now... until Jaime had told her that he loved her.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and do let me know if you liked it!


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